Supernanny

Does anyone else out there love Supernanny as much as I do? I wonder if she does classroom visits--some days I could use her.

I really could have used her last year with my zoo of a classroom--twelve behavior problems. About three of those were hard-core, well, jerks comes to mind. The other nine were followers of the three, but would have been a handful in anyone's class without the influence of three others. Talk about a long year.

By fourth grade, the parents of my hardcore jerks have already heard about their precious child's issues since kindergarten. They know that little Willful is doing what he's always done (whatever the hell strikes his fancy) and they are beyond caring. It's my problem. One meeting with a parent produced a hug for me (!) but did not stop mom from continually selling her son's behavior meds every time the prescription was renewed. (Of course, the drug-selling was not discussed. It was the cow in the room that everyone pretended not to notice. We did ask that she send the meds to school so that the nurse could give her son the meds and she promised to do so. Promises are so easy, aren't they? Are you surprised that she didn't fulfill her promise? Not I--I've been played too many times.)

This year, I have about three behavior problems. Skippy isn't on the list--his behaviors are his out-of-control actions when he doesn't have his meds, but thankfully he does have them most of the time. And he doesn't hurt anyone when he's not medicated--he's just incapable of working or sitting still.

One of the three boys is socially clueless--insults others and then is so sad that he doesn't have friends. Well, duh. I've been coaching him on appropriate/inappropriate things to say and he's doing better.

Rotney, crazy EA aside, is also a behavior problem. He's a tattle-tale and will interrupt instruction to tell me (and the class) that someone did some minor thing. Constantly, as in multiple times an hour. I've tried the "Don't worry about it--that's why I get the big bucks" speech. I've tried ignoring him, but that's difficult since every tattle is preceeded by a long "Oooohhh" as in "Oooohhh, Mrs. Matters, Sprout is sticking his tongue out at Sweetie." I'm now at the point where I say, "And that's your business? Why is that your business? How is Sprout's action harming you?" Still doesn't do any good.

My third behavior problem is subtle. He's the one who has been bullying (sorry--must be PC--he has been exhibiting "bullying behaviors") to several students in my class. I thought I had this kid pegged--he's lazy as all get out, asks when recess is multiple times a day, and is the first one to always ask, "Do we have to write the sentences?" (Yes, because you asked and didn't read the directions.) I've met mom and I know she won't believe that he would do such a thing, so I've been gathering evidence. I wrote an account of what he was doing to bully Skippy. The other day, he was bullying (exhibiting bullying behaviors to) another classmate, accusing him of wearing a bra (What?!). I made him write an account of what he said and sign and date it. I told him that the next time he exhibits bullying behaviors (is a bully) I will call mom in for a conference and show this to her and let his explain his actions to her. (He also lost recess--the one thing he enjoys about school.) He visibly blanched, so maybe this behavior will end. Maybe.

I have one more kid who might be considered a behavior problem in someone else's class, but I enjoy the heck out of him. All of the goals on his education plan are of the "Will sit down and shut-up" variety. He doesn't realize that there are others around him who are trying to learn too. He will yell to me "I'm having trouble with number 9," and be really confused why that's a bad thing. I think I like him because he's had a rough year at home, but he's unfailingly happy about everything. And I do mean everything. New fact learned--happy! New paper--happy! New friend--happy! Find an unusual seed pod on the way to school--indescribable joy lights up his face. Just thinking about his joy makes me happy--how can that be a bad thing?