I attended a parent-teacher conference this morning. The parent expressed the agony of her heart as she watched her child, gifted with high ability, squander his opportunities for good grades by failing to turn in assignments. The student's grades were of the 100, 0, 0, 100, 0, 0, 0 variety. The teacher agreed, lamenting the fact that this student seemed unfazed by the lowering of grades as each missing assignment was recorded. The teacher stated that she had allowed the grade reach an F to see if this would provide a wake-up call to the student. The mother thanked her and assured her that the F, plus removal of the student's computer and phone privileges, had seemed to have a positive effect. It was a good meeting--neither party was angry or abusive of the other. Both parties had the student's best interests in mind. The teacher expressed a genuine regard for the student. The mother left the meeting armed with some information (assignment dates) to help her keep her child on track. I wish all parent meetings went so well, but I can't be the parent at all of them as I was at this one.
My son, my bright and funny and warm and so gifted with ability that he takes my breath away son, has been not doing his English homework. He has so much ability, but he's a little ADD and a little careless and totally accustomed to having someone (a teacher with a generous late policy) bail him out of sticky grade situations. His teacher does not accept late work. My son has become the Titanic to her iceberg of grade policy, but I think this is fair and something I want for my son. I want him to learn that work has a value, even if he doesn't want to do it because "it's boring". I, a teacher, want him to understand how onerous it is to have to grade late work and that he should respect his teacher enough to not burden her with that job. I don't think we're there yet, but as the restrictions he's under lengthen in time and severity, perhaps he's finally getting the idea. But maybe not.
His teacher has relented a bit and graded 2 late assignments and a late paper. My son's grade is now a low C, but with upcoming tests he should be able to make a low B. An A for the semester is possible if he aces the final. The mother half of my soul is feeling relieved; the teacher half is worried that this reprieve will, once again, send my son the message that there's always a safety net there, waiting for him.